The Man God Has For You Read online

  The Man God Has For You

  7 Traits to Help You Determine Your Life Partner

  STEPHAN LABOSSIERE

  Copyright ©2017 by Stephan Labossiere

  Stephan Speaks LLC

  Highly Favored Publishing

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

  For information, contact Highly Favored Publishing – [email protected]

  Editor: ShaVaughn Morris

  Formatting: Ya Ya Ya Creative – www.yayayacreative.com

  Contents

  Preface

  Introduction

  Myth – There Aren’t Enough Men

  Trait #1 – You Will be Attracted to Him

  Trait #2 – His Love Will Uplift You, Not Break You

  Trait #3 – You Will Not Have to Make Him Into a Man

  Reminder – Don’t Settle

  Trait #4 – He Wants a Helpmate, Not a Playmate

  Trait #5 – You’ll Experience a Genuine Connection, Not Just Chemistry

  How to Talk to God – The Most Popular Prayer Women Pray

  Trait #6 – He Will Love God

  Trait #7 – He’ll Want All Your Love, Not Just a Piece

  Conclusion

  About The Author

  Other Books & Resources

  Preface

  I’m sure you’re wondering why I wrote this book. Well, to make a long story short, God told me so. And I mean that genuinely.

  I don’t proceed with any project unless I’ve prayed and asked God if I should move forward, and if this is what He wants me to do. Even before I write a chapter, I pray to make sure I say what God wants and that I provide information that can help, uplift, enlighten, and encourage you. This is not only my purpose, but also my goal with this book.

  The next reason is to offer a form of guidance, from a man’s perspective, on how to navigate relationships as a woman of God. You’ve heard on many occasions that a man is supposed to “protect and provide” and you may have been taught this; however, a lot of women have not been protected and provided for. There are many woman, and it could be you, who have not received proper manly guidance and advice. Guidance and advice that doesn’t encourage you to compromise who you are, or provide onesided views on how men and women should operate in relationships. Advice from men who desire to see you do well; to shield and protect you from nonsense, as well as, offer insight on best practices to help you navigate through life. The security of knowing this man (or men) offering you guidance and advice has your back.

  That’s who I want to be for you.

  I want to be the man who has your back, the guy who gives you loving guidance. The man who works to protect you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually from getting caught up in situations I know will cause more damage and keep you off the path where you belong.

  I don’t want that for you.

  It’s an important focal point with every book I write. Each book represents pieces to a puzzle designed to make sure you get what you deserve and experience the life that God setup for you.

  Also, I understand people struggle with relationships and I want to be able to breakdown every aspect. I don’t believe in just writing one book and trying to mash everything into it. What you will experience are different books that cover different aspects of the puzzle that helps you see the bigger picture. It’s all created to ensure you receive what’s best, as long as you embrace the information and be willing to do your part in the process.

  I want to see you win.

  Period.

  Point blank.

  I no longer want to see you hurting or lacking. I want to witness you getting everything you deserve. This is the reason why I wrote this book.

  I can hear the questions now, what about the men, the men need help too? You’re absolutely correct! I have books for men and they’re available if they CHOOSE to invest. I’ll always be willing to encourage and help them. However, I’m going to be honest … YOU are my priority.

  Women have an amazing power that is gravely important to and in this world. My mission to help you heal and get back on track can have such a profound impact on society. You are our mothers, sisters, and wives. Collectively, your influence is greater than you realize. Even if none of those roles apply, be you a friend, or in your daytoday behavior; your energy is huge. I recognize its importance. I can heal onehundred men and those hundred men may be unable to heal one woman. However, I can heal one woman and her energy has the power to impact those hundred men and more.

  And you may not understand or fully agree; however, I’m telling you, as a man whose coached individuals for over nine years, I can attest to your capabilities as a woman and it’s important to protect and nurture this, as well as assure you are in the right place to exude this power.

  That’s the why.

  Plain and simple.

  Introduction

  Does God really have a man just for me? If so, where is he, when is he coming and what in the world is taking his behind so long!

  I’m sure that’s what you’re thinking and I understand how you feel. Waiting on the man God has for you can be annoying, frustrating, and at times, you feel hopeless. It’s not an easy path to walk. However, when done right, it will without a doubt, provide the most benefit.

  Does God really have a man just for you? Well to be honest, the answer is yes and no.

  No, because your actions can have an impact on whether you receive him or not. The idea of a “soulmate,” a person you’re guaranteed to be with is simply not true. We all make decisions in life, and unfortunately many people make choices that block them from being with the person who’s best for them.

  Notice I said the person who’s best for them.

  This is where I believe the term “soulmate” can be applied. It’s the yes when determining if God really has a man just for you. God knows the people who will walk into your life, as well as those who will align with your purpose and have successful relationships with you. He’ll embrace any choice you make. But what you believe is a good choice may not be God’s choice. Many of you are familiar with the phrase “wait for your Boaz.” For those who aren’t, here’s a quick explanation.

  Boaz is a biblical character from the Book of Ruth who becomes Ruth’s husband. Part of her story speaks to her experience of receiving a good man and is often used as reference for single women who hope to one day marry. The phrase itself is symbolic of saying, wait on the man God has for you. Ruth’s story shows proof that when you move forward in obedience, patience, and faith, you can receive the blessings that await you.

  So again, does God have a man that is just for you?

  Well, to be technical, if you read 1 Corinthians 11:19 KJV it states,

  Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

  Basically, you were created to be a blessing to a man who puts God first. Not that this is your only purpose, but with regard to relationships, this is the dynamic. Ultimately, you have to be able to recognize who is worthy of you as their blessing and who’s your best fit. What I’m going to discuss in this book will help you recognize the qualities that need to be in place before you move forward with a man of interest, as well as a glimpse into the work that must be done on your end for him to receive you.

  As you continue to read through this guide, I want you to pray about what you read. I don’t expect you to take my word as bond simply because I’m Stephan “the relationship coach” or Stephan who has all these “followers” on social media—no. I want you to accept what I say because you’ve gone to God, asked him about it, and he’s given you the green light. And this isn’t specific to this book, it’s for everything. Even when the pastor tells you something, or when someone comes into your life and prophesies over you. For the friend that offers you advice, or anyone who gives you information, go back to God and verify. Be sure that the information is for you. Don’t just walk away with a person’s word or guidance. We are not God.

  I am not God.

  I’m the messenger, a middle man. However, there’s still a lot of people who scream and claim that they are. They claim to have your best interest, when in truth, they’re setting you up for disaster. I can say, with confidence, that’s not my purpose; however, I’d be a hypocrite to say, “don’t pray about what I said, but you should pray about what everyone else says.”

  No.

  Pray about it all.

  Pray about everything you’ve considered implementing in your life.

  It’s not only important to ensure you receive the right information, but also to cultivate and nurture your relationship with God. To develop the habit of talking to and hearing from Him is what’s key. You must learn to hear from Him more than anything else.

  Lastly, be open and receptive to what you read. Some of it may be a refresher, while some may be new and eyeopening. There’s nuggets in here that will really hit you. But, you have to be willing to accept and implement the new strategies in your life. Don’t read this book and continue as you were, or hold on to the same perceptions. Be open to explore a different approach. Now don’t get me wrong, if all is well and perfect in your life, then by all means, proceed as you are.However, I’m sure that’s not the case and I believe that’s a fair assumption.

  With that said, don’t be afraid.

  Much of what you read may open the door to
vulnerability and that’s a good thing. It will be scary and a hard pill to swallow, but it’s in your best interest and that’s what matters.

  In this book, you’ll find not just the 7 Traits, but also additional topics I’ve included throughout the text as supplements. These go a bit more in depth regarding a few topics I’ve discussed with my followers on social media, other clients, people at events, and casual conversations. I’ll dispel one of the biggest myths in dating, breakdown the most common perception shared among friends, family and the internet.As well as, help you shift how you communicate with God.

  I’m grateful you’ve chosen to walk this journey with me and I hope you’re ready to get into the next chapter.

  Myth

  There Aren’t Enough Men for Every Woman to Receive Her “Boaz”

  Since writing God Where Is My Boaz, I’ve gotten detractors.

  People who love to spread this discouraging belief that there aren’t enough men for every woman. That every woman won’t experience or find their mate. Based on this belief, these detractors claim my message is a dream, a fairytale, or an unattainable goal for a lot of women and it sets them up for failure. And this doesn’t just apply to the people on social media and gurus, also it’s those you value. Pastors, other spiritual coaches, even your friends and family share these misguided narratives and it makes me sick. It’s a message of sabotage that kills the hope, faith, and belief of a woman who patiently awaits and prepares to receive a loving relationship in her life. It promotes the idea to give up and let go, and they insist they’re being more real and honest with this negativity. It’s ridiculous, and bottom line it’s dead wrong. I’m a firm believer that you will receive the man God has for you.

  Plan and simple.

  Here’s an analogy …

  Imagine there’s a club called, You Get a Man, better yet, it’s called You Get a Husband because you’re not just looking for a man. Your desire is to receive a husband, a partner with whom you share your life. So, we have club You Get a Husband, and in line are women from all backgrounds and beliefs. As a woman of God you have VIP status and access. With this access, you get to skip the line since God gives His people the best. As long as you do what’s necessary to get on the VIP list, you don’t have to wait with the crowd.

  But here’s what happens.

  You get to the front of the line, security asks you for ID and you don’t have it.

  And I’m not talking about your license or passport. Not that ID. I’m referring to your internal ID, the one that wakes up with you, the one you see in the mirror each day, the one people recognize as soon as you walk in the door—that ID.

  Why would you not have ID?

  Well, it’s because you haven’t discovered who you are. You haven’t met the person God designed you to be, or walked in your purpose. You haven’t quite figured out your life. Although you have VIP access and can get to the front of the line, you can’t get in because you’re not prepared. You haven’t done the work to receive all God has in store for you.

  Be clear, this isn’t to discourage you. However, there’s no point in worrying about statistics, how many men there are, or what you won’t have.

  The point is, you get to skip the line.

  You’re set apart from the rest because you have VIP access, but do you know who you are?

  Here’s the deal, before you get concerned with the amount of men there are in the world and whether or not you’ll get one, you have to get right with YOU and God. You have to discover your greatest self and there are three keys to doing this.

  #1 – Heal From Your Past

  One of the core components to discover who you are is to heal from your past. When you heal from your past, you’re able to get right with yourself and God. However, when you haven’t healed from your past, no matter how much you want love or think you’re ready for it, there will be a struggle. Not healing from your past prevents you from moving forward, and when true love comes your way, you’ll run. Of course, it sounds crazy to run from love and not take advantage of it when it comes your way; however, when you haven’t let go of past hurt and pain, it blocks you from being vulnerable. Vulnerability is necessary for you to not just receive love, but also give it. It’s the bridge that assists with nurturing the type of relationship God wants for you. Lack of healing, will prevent you from accepting that love.

  Next, when you haven’t healed, it blinds you. Ladies, hurt and pain blinds you. If you’ve never acknowledged or properly resolved your past issues, navigating through life will be as if you’re walking through your house in the dark, or down the street with the broken glasses. You can’t see straight! This skewed vision or lack of foresight causes you to end up with the wrong person, in a bad relationship, or holding on to situations way longer than you should. Being blind to nonsense is detrimental to your spiritual and emotional sanctity.

  Lastly, not healing from your past stops you from exuding positive energy. Positive energy is necessary to attract the great relationship you seek. Let’s be honest here, although you may be a good or a great woman, it doesn’t mean you’re a positive one. If you’re not positive, trust and believe you will struggle to attract and embrace the right man. However, you will have no problem attracting men who only want sex and will waste your time. Those guys don’t care about negative energy. Their only concern is how you look, what they can get out of you, and what ways they can take advantage of you.

  For the man who genuinely seeks a true relationship, when he sees or senses the negative energy it will push him away and turn him off. Or, he’ll assume he’s a bother, not welcomed in your presence, and will walk away. It’s imperative you do what’s necessary to get the healing you need to embrace and attract the love that’s for you.

  #2 – Finding Your Purpose

  I know a lot of this sounds easier said than done; however, it still needs to happen. If you don’t know where you’re going, you won’t know who belongs with you on that path. Aside from that, you won’t find your true happiness.

  In the previous section, I discussed how being positive, exuding that energy, and healing yourself is essential.However, what contributes greatly to this is being happy. You have to do things you enjoy and find a career that speaks to your heart, so that you radiate this great energy. Although the process of getting there may be a struggle, there’s a sense of peace that comes from within when you know you're on the right path. The comfort of knowing who you are and what you’re meant to do is essential. You don’t want to end up in a relationship and realize the man you’re with doesn’t cosign, feel comfortable, or agree with the path God has for you. That strain will set you back and keep you from fully embracing who you are.

  There are plenty of women, right now, who aren’t walking in their purpose because they’re trying to walk with the wrong man. He is holding them back. He became an anchor in their life. They’re stuck, and unable to progress the way God intended.

  And it’s not just the man in their lives.

  The wrong friends, other negative associations in your life, your job, a myriad of things that don’t belong can represent the anchor. In order for you to know what fits, you must know where you’re supposed go. It’s important that you to take the time to make sense of your purpose.

  #3 – Know How to Hear God

  A lot of women tell me they pray but, after further conversation, I notice they aren’t listening. As you move forward in the book, I’ll address this more in detail.

  What’s your intent when you pray? Do you pray to make a request or to vent? Do you pray in a moment of distress or frustration? Or do you ask a question to receive an answer in your spirit? I get this isn’t easy for most. There is so much to unpack with praying properly and how to hear God. However, as a foundation, it’s important you get to a point where you enter prayer with the intent to listen to what God says, because it’s how you’ll receive directions.

  Mutually, men and women are supposed be obedient to God; however, this can’t happen without knowledge of the orders or directions He has for you. We all have specific instructions. Sure, the Bible and other spiritual leaders who aid you on your journey can give you guidance, and even me; but to get down to the crux of what you’re supposed to do it needs to be specific and from God. There will be instances where you’re told to go left, while someone else has to go right, and you’ll need more than just the scripture and service alone. These tools are in place to complement God’s message in prayer and confirm what you’ve been told.